Candid Smiles.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words,
it captures the moments, the people, everything.
We look just to see the captured moment.
Sometime it's even better than the real thing.
I like the candid shots.
I like to see the real smile, unforced and so natural.
It brings a smile to my face,
the memories flood back in my mind.
Looking at you in these pictures,
you look wonderful,
so happy.
It makes me smile when I look at them.
Takes away any bad feeling I may be having,
and replaces it with something so much better.
Even if I can't be there for the real smiles,
I can look at these,
feeling the happiness brought by your smile.

Dear Friend,

It seems as if you forget about me a little more each day. I'd say it seems that you care about me a little less each day, but I know that's not true. You still care, you're just busy, and there are other "things" in your life right now. So the only word that seems to fit is "forget", we don't talk as much as we use to or about what we use to. Part of me is afraid that you got bored with only ever hearing about my feelings, and I'm sorry if that's the case, but I thank you with all my heart for being there. I also have been trying to stop nagging you about certain "things". Without talking about my feelings or other "things", there isn't much left, and that makes me sad. We use to be able to talk for hours, about anything and everything. Something changed and I don't like it. I know these "things" distract you, and that I have no right to think that I should be your center of attention, but I was, sorta, for a little while, and that was nice, I don't get to be the center of attention often, nor do I wish to be, but it was nice. These "things" make me cringe when I think about them and how they affect you. It makes me incredibly sad. You don't realize how much it affects me, too. But I wish you the best of luck, and hope you find happiness in the paths you're choosing. I hope things between us will restore to the normalcy that I've grown to cherish. Thanks for all that you've done for me.

Sincerely yours,
Me

Infinite Directions

There are just too many thoughts and feelings running through my veins. The thoughts in my brain make my head spin. It feels as if I'm about to explode with emotions and thoughts are just going to leak out from my brain through my ears. Such a variety of emotions, too, all for different reasons. I want to get them all out. I can't though because as soon as I start thinking about one, another interjects and I loose my place and have to start over. I just can't get them organized. They're everywhere. There's one over there and another over here. This one fits in this category, and these two don't have categories at all. It makes me so confused. I feel hopelessly lost. My brain is like an intersection of an infinite number of streets going in infinite number of directions, and all have infinite number of paths connecting to each other. I'm just stuck in the middle trying to make a decision as to which way to go in this infinte place.

Attention Deficit

Protective. Jealousy.
Two words that describe my feelings,
intertwined under my surface.
It's all because
she steals the attention
that I attempt to gain,
but you never seem to see
how i long for it.
And just as it is in reach,
she snatches it,
and in a moments notice,
it's gone,
as if it never existed.
Then I feel hurt,
and I shut down,
you think it's from stress,
but I know the real reason.
Couldn't you give me
just a little attention?

My poetry has been lacking lately, I just haven't had any real inspirtation.. this one just seems to be a collaboration of thoughts...

Disappearing Act

All she wanted,
was to disappear
so she packed her bags,
and drove here.
She went on running,
just to get away,
even though part of her wanted to stay.
Through all their fear,
they hoped and prayed
that she had stayed.
So they kept on looking,
searching the streets,
but they never find her,
because she succeeded.
She disappeared.

I admit, this isn't my best piece of work, but I needed to write. Most of my other stuff is better. I'm not sure if I was saying that more to convince your or to convince myself.

Inspiration, or lack thereof.

I keep searching,
but it eludes me;
there's nothing there.
I want to write,
to have words flow from me
like water from a cupped hand.
But those words,
they never come.
They leave me empty,
they leave me desirous.
I keep searching for words
that aren't meant to be found.

I want to be inspired.
Perhaps lack of inspiration
is inspiration in itself.

A reminder from God.

I saw the most beautiful sunset today. I didn't get to actually watch it, only a passing glance. I was on my way home from my dad's house, and I looked up. It was amazing. The most beautiful shades of violet fading into indigo and blue as they stretched toward the sky. Then some very magnificent oranges and yellows as my eyes came back toward the sun. I then passed a park, which allowed me to see the lake. It was all so stunning. The way the sun brought out the beautiful blues in the lake was absolutely amazing. The lake was so calm and peaceful. I couldn't turn my eyes away. It was a wonderful gift from God. A reminder to me that no matter how bad my day was, he's always there for me.

lately...

I've been thinking.. a lot. It's made me realize some things, it's made me learn new things about myself as a person. I've realized what in my life has made me the way I am, what things have caused me to have issues, such as my lack of trust in everyone. But even though I've learned a lot and thought a lot, there doesn't seem to be much for me to say. Most of the time I still feel pretty lost, but I'm being a lot more accepting of it. I'm starting to realize that eventually I'll figure stuff out, and even if I don't, that's okay, too.

"...it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."

Sunday Secret: Clumsy

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PostSecret: Star Trek

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Light

Whilst everything is dark,
I see but one light,
It comes to me,
so subtle in it's way.
Gently it floats in the air,
as if a present from thy God.
It draws near.
Dost thou see it?
That gentle light that dost shine?
Or is thy light simply in mine own eye?
I reach out.
Just as mine finger does touch it,
it's gone.
Me thinks it was splendid,
like a present presented from another,
to thine heart.
But like a present given in haste
it so quickly disappears.

Sunday Secret- FedEx

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"A Heartbeat skip, relationship..."

"A heartbeat skip, relationship
Inside a bubble bath
An icing drip below your lip
So we undo the math
A sudden slip between
My pathetic sedatives
A real-life script of how
Mistakes became our medicine, so
Delay the hurtful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message that I`m
Picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we pray from miles away
In quest for what we long to be
I might crumble, I might take a fall again(Still missing you)...
Everlasting friend
A heartbeat skip, relationship
So we would stay up late
A teardrop drip below your lip
Beside the airport gate
A sudden slip from where
We used to be a year ago
A real-life script of how
Our hands would hold and not let go
But delay the mournful words
Of complicated overcast
Please take the message
That you taught me how to live at last
But I said my confidence
It gets stronger when you're next to me
But we wave respect goodbye
In quest for what we long to be, but
I might crumble, I might take a fall again(Still missing you)
But you're my everlasting friend
Will you be coming home?(Everlasting friend)...
My everlasting friend, will you be coming home?
I just want to know that you'll be coming home..."

Everlasting Friend by Blue October